I'm Gonna Ramble On...(Part 2)
Now that the preliminaries are out of the way and you have an idea of where I habitate,(See
I'm Gonna Ramble On...) let's get to the next big question I
get asked quite a bit. Where do you get your information from? Or as some astute reader asked -
Where the hell did you get that line of crap from?
Being detached from society (as most of you think I am) I must say that I try to stay
as informed as possible on the entertainment industry. Of course, I would like to say that the local
newspaper quenches my thirst for knowledge, but the Dilly Dally Times just doesn't cut it.
Let me give you a little insight into the workings of this rag that over 33,000 residents take
as gospel every day of their lives. They recently went from an afternoon delivery to a morning paper.
This is a good thing because the afternoon edition never arrived at the same time everyday. Usually
it showed up an hour or so late. I don't fault the carriers because I know a few of them and they try
their hardest to make sure it gets into the hands of their inquiring customers as soon as possible.
No...The blame is placed entirely on the backs of the publishers of this so called piece of daily
information. Let's hold up the presses for a great editorial that just seeped into the head of some
addle-minded editor. Or maybe there was a late breaking story that just had to be rushed to the final
edition. You know the ones...Cat rescued from tree by off duty fireman...New signal light installed
on busy intersection...Blah, blah, blah.
Could you imagine if your local television station decided to make the 6:00 O'Clock News an hour
late so they could more fully prepare that last minute news story?
But now they've gone to a morning delivery. Every morning on your door before 6:00 AM. Whether
you want it or not. This seemed like a good idea when I first heard mention of it. But lately I've
been inundated with the Dilly Dally Times propaganda campaign...plastering it all over my
television and radio.
'FYI, NNY'...That's the call to arms of this 'new' news campaign. More world and national news, more
sports, more local news and more entertainment. Yeah, right. I picked the paper up a couple of mornings
when this campaign started. Know what I found? The same old rag...Ten per cent news, twenty per cent
pure bull and the rest of it was advertisements.
The only difference I noticed was that the police blotter in the local section was a little
bigger...'Cause we have to stay informed. I know I couldn't live a day without knowing Silly Billy
was cited by the local authorities for spitting on the sidewalk. I couldn't sleep at night without
knowing that Jane Plain was arrested for calling her mother a bitch. And I definitely feel better
going out at night knowing that Joe Schmo was charged with bouncing a check for $7.49 at the local
pizzeria. Just one more hardened criminal off the street. This is stuff I need to make it through
my everyday hum drum existence...That and a really bad case of hemorrhoids.
I did mention in the propaganda campaign that there was more entertainment. Let me set this fabrication
straight right here and now. I don't consider a syndicated weekly column and some daily trash report about
Madoona, Miss B.S. and 'N Stink to be worthy of publication. Where's the local entertainment scene?
What concerts are up and coming in the area? (I'm sure a lot of residents in the area can't even
tell me who's playing in Canada or Syracuse or Buffalo this week) How about some reviews about home
grown bands? Or even a listing of who's playing where?
So where do I get my information from? Not the Dilly Dally Times. That's for sure.
When I want world and national news I go straight to the source...The New York Times and The Boston
Globe. If I'm looking for sports...ESPN and NFL.com. I can always
get the local news from television and radio stations in the area. And as far as fulfilling my needs
for entertainment news there's RollingStone.com,
Billboard.com and let's not forget about my lifetime
subscription to Spin Magazine.
As far as the Dilly Dally Times goes, it makes a nice liner for my cat's litter box. And my cat seems
to get more out of it than I do.
- Richard Blaine
* Richard Blaine's views and opinions do not necessarily
reflect the views and opinions of the staff at Twin-Music.