Good to be back. Although I enjoyed my time off, I still could not get away from the frivolous BS that people take as news. Seemed everywhere I went people wanted to talk about this and talk about that. Whatever happened to the sports and national news that would strike up a conversation in nothing flat. Statements like 'Detroit's gonna kick some Laker ass' or 'That Dubya is still a big ass'. Nothing like that anymore. Now it seems that the big news is entertainment oriented. No wonder the majority of people don't know where the major skirmishes are in the world or why the price of gas is going sky high. So I'll join the crowd and give you a different spin on the 'news' stories that people were mentioning to me in the past couple of weeks.

Sluts...

Shmuley Boteach has stated in an essay for SomethingJewish.co.uk that Madon is a 'slut'. Boteach also had a few choice words for Phillip Berg, head of the Kabbalah Centre. From what I read he has allowed Madonna to be the religion's highest-profile spokesperson. Boteach was quoted as saying, 'Earth to Phillip Berg: Do us all a favor and dump Madonna as your principal spokesperson. Sorry to be so crass, but Madonna is a slut. Yes, she may sing and she may dance. But she is famous for being a slut. And no religion dare have a slut as its principal representative.' Liz Rosenberg, Madonna's representative, counter-attacked by saying, 'His vile attacks on her character and as an artist are staggering for someone who professes to be a religious person. I suggest this man take a look at his own character and what problems he may have that would make him feel that he should make statements about a truly beautiful human being that he does not know in the slightest.' I have to agree with the Rabbi. After all, Madonna has slept around more than George Washington. And have we forgotten her 'coffee-table book' 'Erotica'. From the looks of it, Madonna has slept with everybody but the good Rabbi and myself.

Nuts...

Cyndi Lauper was speecless during a concert in Massachusetts when a bird decided to do its duty in her mouth. A bird flying overhead decided to release a bomb as Lauper was hitting a high note. Guess she should have listened to the 'birds and bees' speech her mother gave her when she was younger.

Yeah, but...

'I tried heroin just the once,' McCartney said in an interview recently. 'Even then, I didn't realize I'd taken it. I was just handed something, smoked it, then found out what it was. It didn't do anything for me, which was lucky because I wouldn't have fancied heading down that road.' He went on to say, 'I did cocaine for about a year around the time of Sgt. Pepper. Coke and maybe some grass to balance it out. I was never completely crazy with cocaine.' Yeah, but, Paul...No one smoked the big 'H' back in the 60's. You either shot, snorted or rubbed it. Who the hell smoked it?

No butts...

Miss BS's tour of China has finally received approval from the Culture Ministry. The only drawback is the Culture Ministry officials have asked the concert's Chinese organizers to make sure Miss BS doesn't show too much skin while on stage. Guess that means no return visit to China.

What...

Current odds are 3-1 that JLo and Marc Anthony will be divorced by the end of the year. You can get ten to one odds that JLo will marry more than eight times in her life, beating Elizabeth Taylor. Bookmakers are offering 14-1 odds that Mr. Ben and JLo get married before the end of 2004. If I were a betting man...Never mind...

More nuts...

Casting calls have gone out for a new reality-based television show. It involves seven people stranded on an uncharted desert island. Sound familiar. The show will debut later this year. Oh, yeah...The name of the show is 'The Real Gilligan's Island'. No comment.

Klutz...

Seems Miss BS injured her knee during a video shoot. An MRI revealed floating cartilage in her knee. Obviously this is to go along with the floating gray matter in her brain.

Got some interesting tidbit of news? Let me know. Maybe I'll use it. Or maybe not.

* Richard Blaine's views and opinions do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the staff at Twin-Music.