Another year has come and gone and all those resolutions from 365 days ago have
pretty much taken the same path as the Minnesota Vikings season...From the top of
the heap to 'better luck next year'...It's just a resolution, after all. They were
meant to be broken before the year's end. Quit smoking, go on a diet, exercise more,
say something nice everyday about people you don't like...Okay, the last one I broke
on New Year's Day...No big deal.
This year, though, I've made a big change in setting goals for myself...I'm not setting
any. That way there is no expectations to live up to. I figure it would be pretty easy
to handle. But I'm not making any promises...
So how about other people out there. Here's a few resolutions that other people can
make and break over the next year...
1. Wynona - Remember not to get stopped for DWI after doing a show on the 'Greatest
Drinking Songs Of All Time'
2. Scott Weiland - Try not to get arrested on something that will violate his probation
in some way
3. Britney and Christina - Kiss and make up and stop acting liking the other one is
the biggest bitch in the world
4. Osama Bin Laden - Try not to get a big country and the rest of the world upset
with the little things he does
5. Warren Sapp and Keyshawn Johnson - Find a team where they can spout off and think
that people are listening to them...just don't promise a Super Bowl victory
6. Kid Rock - Drink less, party less, womanize less and record an album of classic
50's and 60's love songs
7. Members of 'N Stink and the BS Boys - Stay out of the public eye and let people
believe they might have some real talent by keeping their mouths shut
8. Rush Limbaugh - Spend some quality time with his good friends and confidantes, Jesse
Jackson and Al Sharpton
9. Bob Seger - Officially retire 'Like a Rock' because he knows people are getting
tired of hearing it in every other commercial
10. Michael Jackson - Hide all the little boy items in his house and don't let
the police take free tours of Neverland again
Happy New Year, all...and let's make those resolutions so we can break them...Just for the hell of it...
* Richard Blaine's views and opinions do not necessarily
reflect the views and opinions of the staff at Twin-Music.