Have you ever wanted something for Christmas and for months you've dropped hints to all your friends and family? Then on that eventful day after all the presents have been unwrapped and all the excitement has died down you feel disappointed because you didn't get the one thing you wanted? And you know you should have gotten it because you told everyone you knew that that was what you wanted...more than anything else in the world. Sort of like Ralphie Parker wishing and hoping that he will see the 'official Red Ryder 200-shot range model air rifle' sitting under the tree on Christmas morning. It makes the whole day so much better when you get it. So I thought I would put together a few Christmas wishes that other people may be looking for this year...

The webmaster - A trip to the nearest casino for outpicking me in this year's NFL season...If the season stays the way it is right now he's 8 for 8 on division leaders with New England and Philadelphia going to the Super Bowl.

Rap artists - A two record deal with a four movie incentive clause...I will admit that I've actually enjoyed all of Ice-T's films. But who told Eminem he could act?

Top 40 radio stations - A list of recording artists who aren't in the rap or hip-hop category...Checked out Billboard's Hot 100 lately?

The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame - Enlist members who know what the word 'contribution' means and also have a knowledge of rock 'n' roll music and history...Jim Croce in the Hall next year or they should change the name to 'Hall Of Shame On You'.

The record industry - CD's that actually cost less and contain 10 to 12 tracks worth listening to...'Hey, I bought this CD for that one song and found out the rest of it wasn't worth the price.'

Keith Richards - A one year membership to the 'The Tanning Salon'...Let's see if we can get rid of that death-like pallor.

Natalie Maines and Toby Keith - A copy of the book 'How To Win Friends and Influence People'...They should probably read it together.

Sports Players' Unions - An honest day's pay for an honest day's work...What's the going rate for mediocrity these days?

Michael Jackson - Hoping that he doesn't have to do a one-man show for somebody named Bubba...Gives a whole new meaning to the interpretation of 'Beat It'.

All military troops around the world - A safe holiday and safe return to their families back home...

Here's wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

* Richard Blaine's views and opinions do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the staff at Twin-Music.