Well, who wipes me off when I get gravy on my shirt And who knows exactly where to kiss me when I hurt And who'd make love with me on satin sheets or in the dirt You, babe...you're my bestest friend Who takes me home when I get to drunk to dance And who bravely puts up with my uncles and my aunts And who discreetly whispers I forgot to zip my pants You, babe...you're my bestest friend And who comes down and bails me out when I get in a jam And helps me tell the police where I live and who I am And who pats my back when no one else could give a damn You, babe...you're my bestest friend Who can be as gentle as a sparrow in my hand Meaner than a junk yard dog when she's fightin' for her man And who's the only one I'll ever love or understand You, babe...you're my bestest friend Talkin' 'bout you babe... You're my bestest friend