I saw one of Santa's helpers at the grocery store today He was standin' at the front door givin' candy canes away And I told him I was worried about a certain situation How's Santa gonna get here with this risin' population He said, I talked to the north pole sometime late last week And it seems that dear ol' Santa has got somethin' up his sleeve As I leaned in to listen, he whispered in my hear He said, don't you dare repeat a single word of this, you hear He said, boss man's all excited 'cause his new sled's almost ready And they say he's got it painted up, looks just like Richard Petty's And Rudolph and the reindeer, they're lookin' long and mean It's the fastest, highest flyin' winter wonderland machine I ain't seen it for myself, but I heard say Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh It's got a heater in the floorboard 'cause he's gettin' old, you know And a windshield with the wipers should he happen on some snow Landin' lights of red and white all stuck along the side So he can spot the rooftops as he's fallin' from the sky He's got a king-size toy bin, locks in all the latches And a big old custom air seat with a safety belt that matches Only thing about it that worries him a heap Is that he might be here just long before the children get to sleep He said, boss man's all excited 'cause his new sled's almost ready And they say he's got it painted up, looks just like Richard Petty's And Rudolph and the reindeer, they're lookin' long and mean It's the fastest, highest flyin' winter wonderland machine I ain't seen it for myself, but I heard say Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh Well, I ain't seen it for myself, but I heard say Santa Claus has got a hot rod sleigh