I must look a mess I must admit But I have been traveling quite a bit South of the border Where the law and order Is kept by Federales who just grin And tell you they just want to be your friend I left for Tampico last July I jumped off that boat I almost died There to greet us Were pretty senoritas I swore that I would not go home then All those lovely ladies were my friends Whoa, those sweet chiquitas they don't pretend 'Como esta, Capitain...' That is all I really want to say I was thrown out of the country yesterday See I was, drinkin' double Causin' lots of trouble When the man looked in the window of the bar and he grinned And said, 'If you come back we just may not be your friend I don't want to see you 'round here again If you come back next time we may not...' (Hi-dee ho boys!)