I never got a grip in penmanship Could never make those small l's flow Seldom found the trick to arithmetic Three plus two be faux pas But ask for some palm trees Or tales from the South Seas I never had the clout to knock one out But hitting was the name of my game Standing on third as the coaches conferred So close to my first claim to fame Just give me the steal sign And I'll make home plate mine And I just might turn some heads Sometimes I may get a little drastic Sometimes I just let my feelings show Sometimes I may be a bit sarcastic Most times that's the way the story goes Now I know this Joe down in Mexico He went there to work on his tan For years he's been plugged into blenders and songs They call him the Twelve Volt Man He don't need no charge card Just give him a die-hard And he'll make sparks fly round your head Or just ask for some palm trees Or tales from the South Seas And I'll make sparks fly round your head Round your head In your head In your head