Christmas
The 12 Days After Christmas
The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burned it just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge 
My true love, my true love
My true love gave to me

The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves 
My true love, my true love
My true love gave to me

The third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup
The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene
The five gold rings were completely fake
And they turned my fingers green

The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
I gave the whole darn gaggle
To the ASPCA
On the seventh day what a mess I found
All seven of the swimming swans had drowned
My true love, my true love
My true love gave to me

The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up the eight maids a milking
Nine pipers piping
Ten ladies dancing
'Leven lords a leaping
Twelve drummers drumming and sent them back collect

I wrote my true love
'WWe are through, love'
And I said in so many words
'Furthermore your Christmas gifts
Were for the birds'
Back to Christmas
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