I know this guy named Richard He's my red-necked friend He does everything the hard way You see, Rich don't like to bend He went out for a haircut Get himself a little trim Got hooked up with a beautician And she set out to do him in She knocked Dick in the dirt He said that it didn't hurt one bit, no She knocked Dick in the dirt He jumped up and then she kissed him where it hurt Now Rich knows girls in England He's a well traveled man He's been around the world, you see He's met some hard demands But, Jane, she knocked him right down Well, he'll just get right back up, whoo! Together they have this bond, you see She likes to tie him up She knocked Dick in the dirt He said that it didn't hurt one bit, no She knocked Dick in the dirt Yea, but, then she kissed him where it hurt, ow! Now, Rich, he got all junked up Something rubbed him wrong But, Jane, she straightens him out Yeah, it never takes that long 'Cause Rich, he has no conscience He's of a friendly persuasion And any chance he has to meet someone new He'll always rise to the occasion She knocked Dick in the dirt He said that it didn't hurt one bit, no She knocked Dick in the dirt He jumped up and then she kissed him where it hurt, ow! She knocked Dick in the dirt He said that it didn't hurt one bit, no She knocked Dick in the dirt He jumped up and then she kissed him where it hurt Uh! Ow!